Just When You Thought...

I have not missed the "heart attack" pain. It comes on so suddenly and hurts so bad. I know it is a Costochronditis flare when it happens but I haven't missed it.  It must have missed me because just when I thought I'd felt the last of it, it came on painfully in the wee hours this morning.  Thankfully we don't rush to the ER to have it checked anymore. My husband gets the Flexeril and I take it and hang on while it works.
I have had a couple of more energy days and was pleased to accomplish something. My sewing room is cleaned up and back in order. That feels great.

My husband continues to work on the kitchen and we are getting close to having that finished. It is looking good.

Gray Day

It's a gray day. Temps in the high 30s but chilly. The kitchen fix is coming along. My husband is doing a marvelous job. I am so impressed. You certainly are not aware of how  dirty a place gets until you decide to paint and repair. Everything is dirty and greasy. We are getting it done and are pleased with the results.

My part has been some cleaning and mostly sorting and deciding what stays and what goes. I have a lot of doubles and also stuff I don't use. I also cleaned up my sewing area and will do some sorting there. I am beginning to think I'll be able to sew again once the weather warms up.  It is something I have enjoyed so much in the past.

My body is having muscle spasms here and there but I am riding them out.  I have tried to do what I can and then rest a while. I am in dire need of a haircut and hope to get one Wednesday or Thursday. I actually want a soft perm but we'll see.

My Energy Bank Must be empty

I thought I slept well. Never got up in the night for a potty break. But I felt tired when I got up after a good 8 hours. Husband reports I was moving and jumping all over the bed and I kept him awake. At one point he said I was breathing funny and he tried to talk to me with no response. Hmmm! Guess the long nights in bed aren't producing restorative sleep! I will need to work on that for sure.
I did some resting today and also some reading.
Two of my girls gave me an ipad for my birthday last June. I have been slowly find new things on it. I have longed to relearn some of the Spanish I took years and years ago because my daughter-in-law is from Argentina an Spanish is her first language. My youngest also went to Venezuela as an exchange student and is fluent in Spanish.I found an easy game where they teach you and speak it to you and I've already started!
The weather is starting to modulate and the snow is slowly receding. For that I am very thankful.

Fatigue Hangs on Tightly

Much as I try to will it away the fatigue lingers. While my husband works diligently in the kitchen I sit and rest, or lay down and rest. You would think after a while my body would catch up. Ha! I think I have a lifetime of tired to catch up with.
The day is gray but the temps are in the high 30s. The snow is going done bit by bit. Last night's rain helped some. April is pressing in on us and so the snow must go!

I have been using my awake time to sort and keep or throw away. I am trying to eliminate clutter and be ready for the time we move. I actually am making some headway and feel useful doing this. 

Despair

I have been full of despair these last few days. This long, hard winter has difficult. My body has been most difficult to manage. Pain has been rampant. Fatigue has lingered often. I have finally been able to talk about it with my husband. Now that it is out in the open I feel better. The pain is still here but at least I feel less guilty about not carrying my own weight. This thinking is my problem not my husband's. He always says I do too much!

I often get stuck in my thinking. I let the feeling that I am some how disappointing people roll around until it grabs me hard and knocks me down. I am trying to do better. The ups and downs of Fibromyalgia are difficult enough without my adding guilt to the equation. Many of the medical providers have already tried to do that to me.

I am looking forward to spring and warmer weather and flowers. I want to get out and walk some and enjoy the fresh air.  Soon. Soon.

Cold and Windy

Although the sun is shining brightly the its only 11 degrees outside and there is a fierce wind. Thankfully the house is toasty warm. The doors are painted and ready to go back in the bathroom. I am thrilled to see how nice the bathroom looks.
I was a hurting gal last night and it was complicated by unrelenting coughing. I finally took a second med and that calmed the anxiety enough so I could sleep. I got up this morning not having achieved any restorative sleep and so was tired. My husband made me a yummy soft boiled egg breakfast and then I crashed on the couch. I slept and slept. I had some very odd dreams.
I put a few clothes away in the bedroom and the cat wanted to help. She thought climbing into the drawers was fun!

Misery

Ah, miserable pain all afternoon. Doubled pain med and added flexeril. That really helped. Once I started to feel better I was a war with myself. "I feel better, I need to get up and get busy." "I feel better I need to continue to rest and not aggravate the pain." Husband settled my conflict by suggesting that I stay put.
By bedtime the pain was minimal and I didn't hurt when I got in bed. I did not sleep well so I listened to music on my ipad most of the night. Dosed on and off with the music.
I am depressed this morning because I am tired.  I should put together a crockpot soup lunch and go back to bed. We'll see.

Well, that didn't happen. I had some hurtful stomach cramps and went back to bed. My sweet husband made quesadilla for lunch when I finally woke up!