Exhausted

Both my husband and I are exhausted. We are not sure why. We are laying down early in the afternoon and sleeping all afternoon. By suppertime we look at each other and wearily say we are tired. Perhaps its the emotional exhaustion weighing us down with the anticipation of change. Who knows? I hope it passes.
Its been warm today and my body is even warmer. I am finding my hair wet and my shirts drenched as well. The least amount of energy expended creates this problem. Last night I was so hot I had to strip down to nothing. Not usual for me at all. Then I had extreme shoulder pain and leg pain. I used a topical on my shoulders and a heating pad under my legs.  Both seemed to work.  Sleep came easily as I was so tired. And hot, did I say hot. 

Tired

Although I managed to get a lot done this morning I finally slowed myself down and rested. The important things had been taken care of and my body needed attention. I laid on the bed and watched a Ken Burns series on the Roosevelts. I haven't finished but so far it has been very interesting. It has also been a great diversion.
The weather has cleared and the sun has been shining and the temps have hit the mid 60s, cold for late June but okay. We have been having a wood stove fire the last few mornings to take the chill off the house.
I am making a roast for supper and the smell of it is filling the house. I hope it tastes as good as it smells. 

More Rain

Yesterday was a delightful day. It was good weather and my hubby got a lot done. He is feeling under the gun to do it all so the house will sell. I find his week days and week ends are always full. Al though he is not thrilled with me going somewhere with my friend he doesn't seem to ever want to do anything but work while he is home. By supper time I had hit bottom brooding about this and consequently all did not go well.
Today was a different story and we did better. It has rained steadily all day but we shared a lot this morning and made lunch together. Then we watched some episodes this afternoon. That was fun.
Tonight with heavier rain falling we will cozy up and watch some more.

Good Week

I have had a good week with decent energy everyday but Wednesday. I have had a lot of pain at night though and Tuesday night I didn't get much sleep because the pain was everywhere. I find that I can do a bit more than I've been able to do before but again night time when I slow down the pain rushes to the front. Some nights I have managed it better than others.
I am sure the Tuesday night fiasco was weather related because we had a serious thunderstorm come through. Any change in weather seems to upend me!
Our sweet kitty, Smudge , is starting to look like a football. I am sure she is going to have kittens sometime in the next few weeks. Then she will get fixed! I think our beautiful feral cat is the father so the kittens should look stunning. It will make it easier to move them on. 

Stress

Stress creates a lot of pain. I try not to get stressed about things but it happens. Sometimes it is just a misunderstanding or a miscommunication.  I think that stress causes anxiety and God tells us not to be anxious.  Do I need pain in my life....NO. So I must run from stress.and be relaxed about what ever comes my way.
I am spending today as relaxed as I can be hoping to build up some energy reserves for the rest of the week.  The summer is upon us and I want to be ready for some fun things like walking on the beach and soaking up the sun.  I'd like to get some visiting in and not be so fatigued I don't enjoy it.

Pay Attention

I am really a slow learner. Why did I think driving 100 miles round trip and doing a big shopping as well as wandering through two other stores would make me tired? And why did I do another food shopping closer to home thinking I would be worn down? There seemed to be so much energy to be used up. And use it up I did. I was operating on fumes and didn't even notice!
By the afternoon I had severe pain in my side and in my sternum. I took the meds that usually help and then took some more. I finally fell asleep and got away from the pain. It appears as if depleting your energy does a number on your body.
Today I feel better but I did go back to bed and sleep another two hours. Hurrah, I had enough energy to make us a nice Father's Day lunch and then to enough some binge watching on Amazon prime videos.
I seriously do need to pay attention. 

Listen to Your Body

Here a report on the session I had on Thursday with a lovely alternative med practitioner.
First of all I had no idea what to expect. I tried to stay calm and have few expectations. She spent the first 15 minutes explaining to me what she did and telling me she would stop anytime I wanted to. That was reassuring and we dove it, so to speak. Needless to say I had some wonderful release and relief from an issue that apparently was deep inside and needed to be dealt with. Hurrah, and thank you.
I had a good day yesterday with enough energy to do all that I needed to do.
The message at the end of the session was "Listen to your body." If you're tired, rest. If you're hungry, eat. Don't deplete you're energy without going after more, whether eating, sleeping or walking around a bit. Let others step in and help you. It's your turn.
So...I think I can do this. Praise God for moving me in this direction.

Alternative Medicine

Today I have an appointment with a gal who does "bodywork". I am not sure what she will be doing but my doctor recommended that I try her. At the very least I hope to get some insight about my body and the pain that I have.
Every day it is some thing new. Today my calves hurt and my hip is painful. My fingers are also giving me a hard time. I put Penetrex on my legs to see if that would help.
Its a beautiful day and I am hoping to get some flowers planted. They are what was left after Paul planted the big pot. I also figured out what to do with the clematis that is growing over the railing. So I will fix that today as well.

Can This Be Real?

Sorting out what to do and when to do it becomes a big task with the whims of Fibromyalgia! That said I had a most delightful day yesterday with my friend. We went into Calais, took our time and wandered through Mardens and then through the new downtown thrift shop. The thrift shop was terrific, good clothing, great prices and friendly service. We had lunch out and finished the day in Walmart picking up scripts and some stuff to use in my new Nutribullet.

By evening the "back to square one" pain had arrived and set up housekeeping! Some pain sites I had forgotten showed themselves full force! It's hard to describe the disappointment I felt. There is a longing for this to be gone and no desire for its reappearance whenever it feels like it. My shoulders, neck and chest all hurt. In addition my hands and feet sent out messages that made me want to crawl away and hide.

I know this is a rant. I know I should calm down. I know. I know.

I managed to sleep this morning and a good part of the afternoon but am still feeling like a two more days of sleep are needed. I can hardly manage to keep my eyes open.

The Invisable World

We live in a physical world and we do our best to manage what we see. We work at trying to understand it as well. I had two wonderful painfree days before fatigue set in and stayed for another two days! Last night my "old friend" rib cage and chest wall pain returned. I gathered my arsenal from what I had learned over the past two weeks and used the heating pad and all the necessary meds! It helped me sleep and I am moving this morning.

Red Letter Day

Do you know what it feels like to have chronic pain?  It's there and after a while you just accept it as part of who you are. Letting go of the anger (why me?) and frustration (why don't they understand?) and getting to a more peaceful place seem to be part of the work needed in dealing with chronic, unrelenting pain.
And yesterday happened. It was a red letter day! I walked and drove and shopped without pain! I smiled and kept telling my friend how happy I was to be pain free even if it was only for a day! God is so good.
Being the over curious gal that I am I wonder how this happened and how can I duplicate it today? I am learning however that that that is the wrong question. A better question would be "How can I be more thankful and embrace each new morning as it is given." 

Post Yard Sale

We did it!
 With help from both my husband and son we had a great yard sale. People came early but not too early. They saw and bought things they liked...one man's trash is another man's treasure! The weather was cool and windy, a real blessing as the black flies were not in evidence!
My son did most of the clean up and put away while my husband napped and I rested. What a terrific man he has become.
I dealt with pain throughout the day but was able to manage it. Of course the early evening slow down and bedtime brought on more pain as it was now front and center rather than just background noise. Although the chest wall pain has become a constant nag during the day, at night it shouts and carries on trying to include other recurring pain as well. I am thankful to have a full complement of meds that work most of the time.
I was able to get a good night's sleep. My sweet kitty show up to snuggle in as well and rest overtook me.
Today is a bright sunny day with lots of promise!

Cool Weather

The weather is cool and the black flies don't seem so abundant. I had a nice visit with a neighbor this morning and took care of some money questions. I feel good having all the bills paid and having some left over. My body is still in a bad way but I am coping. Tomorrow we will have the yard sale and that will be done!  I hope we are able to sell most of the stuff we have here.
I need to think through the meals we will have in the next two days so we can put them together easily.

Birthday Pain

The last post was written early  in the morning. By the time my husband left for work at about 8AM I was feeling off and by 8:15AM the chest wall pain was off the charts. I tried to call him because he was only 15 minutes out but his phone went to voice mail. I called my friend Sandra and her phone was not working. I called my sister but her phone was busy. The pain had not let up and seemed to be getting worse. I iced it and tried to get dressed in case I needed to go out to get some help.

I finally called my youngest daughter who was too far away to come but at least she could hold my hand over the phone. She was wonderful. She helped me calm down, she suggested I eat my morning cereal and stayed on the phone for quite a while. It was a great help to me.

Two days later I am still dealing with residual pain and am exhausted. I am trying to go with it and relax. The yard sale is in pretty good shape and Zach is coming to help. Sandra is putting up signs and I will facebook it again.

Here are the two birthday bouquets I got from my sister and husband (a dozen roses).

72 and counting!

It's my birthday today and my spirits are high. I can't really believe that I am 72! My body was acting up this morning but no matter I'm alive and life is good. I got a wicked headache in the night that continued until morning and it seemed to cause a severe neck ache and upper back ache. I put heat on when I got up and the pain has lessened to a dull ache.
The wonderful, family filled weekend probably has caught up to me. We saw both Nikki and Amanda dance at the recital on Saturday and had a birthday meal on Sunday. Taking my body out of the routine often causes issues. I seemed to have a lot of energy yesterday until 2:30pm and then I crashed. The rest of the afternoon I was on auto pilot making cookies and supper. Today will need to be a slow easy day.