The Gift That Keeps on Giving

There are good days and bad days. There are many more bad nights when I stop for the day and prepare for sleep. The body isn't always co-operative. Sometimes there is pain in my joints and muscles. Sometimes I can't settle and get comfortable and feel like an overtired baby.  Sometimes my tailbone sends shooting pain. Sometimes my body is oversensitive and I can't stand anything to touch my skin. Usually a hard night is followed by a day when I am very tired.
Today was one of those tired days that followed a hard night and trouble going to sleep. I sat on the couch for a while and watched the fire. I took more pain meds. I paced. I finally got back in bed and was able to sleep.
So there you have it. Fibromyalgia, the gift that keeps on giving!

Do I Smell?

I must be because today I have been spoiled rotten. On the last day of my husband's vacation he went all out. He made me a delicious breakfast of eggs and toast. I got a wonderful massage. All the dishes from lunch got washed. Nothing has been required from me today. I am truly thankful. I have been so tired and achy that today was a great day to be lazy.
The constant, chronic-ness of this insidious syndrome makes me angry sometimes. I want it to just go away. I want "me" back again. I think I need to get to know the "new me" better so I can give her what she needs.

And More Fatigue

I managed to get a load of wash done and lunch on the table but fatigue is still dogging me. I am having joint pain randomly in my knees and elbows.  There seems to be a lot of muscle pain as well. Fibro is no respecter of persons. On the other hand my dear husband has managed to plow through his "to do" list for this week and get everything done. What a guy! He even made supper last night when I had run out.
Working on accepting what is without complaint is high on my list. Some days I just want to crawl onto the couch and sleep the day away. I did find that I  am in better spirits when I get the bed made and the kitchen in order so I try to do that everyday. If I have a supper plan more often than not I can get supper on the table. 

Fatigue

I have moved things around in my front room even though I am fatigued. Husband was busy outside and needed to bring down some more wood. I now need to clean and put away all the clutter. Although we had a great time going out to eat and to visit it took its tole on me and I am trying to do tasks that do not require a lot of brain power. I feel thinking impaired! I would love to just veg and watch some episodes this afternoon. We'll see how that goes.

Merry Christmas

We had a quiet, restful morning and talked to a couple of our kids. Then we headed to my sister's house where she served a lovely turkey dinner. Another couple was there and we enjoyed visiting with them as well.
I am starting to feel very fatigued and will head to the bedroom soon. I think I did just enough today.
I am not complaining but it is hard to not be able to participate in the way I did in the past. I should make a return call to on of my kids that called when we were out but I am much too tired. I'll have to try to call tomorrow.

Christmas Eve

The cooking for tomorrow is done. I've made brownies and cookies and magic bars. We are going to my sister's house for dinner and she asked me to bring magic bars. I am also filling a box with brownies, no-bake cookies and mint chip cookies for a gift for them. As you can see I feel pretty good this morning and am moving happily through my day.
I am trying to pace myself and to keep to my med schedule so I have the support in place I need.  This sometimes becomes a stressful time of year and I want to do my part to steer clear of stress.

Post script: I overdid it this morning and was completely exhausted after lunch. This meant I sat and vegged for several hours this afternoon.

Look What a Good Night's Sleep Will Do

I slept well last night. Today I was able function so much better. I got some special cookies made. The house is in good shape. My husband took me out to lunch and to the grocery store. I really enjoyed getting out. Supper is planned and easy. It feels like a regular day all because of a good night's sleep.  I think what helped was that last night I took a little more pain med than usual because I'd had such a hard day.  That's what it's for, although I don't always remember that!

Reality

The reality of fibromyalgia is this. There is no predictability. I found that last night was a long and painful night. My body couldn't tolerate the sheets touching any part of my body. Joints that never hurt before decided to be included in the fun of tormenting me. I took the usual meds that have worked in the past only to find they came up short. After watching two episodes on netfix the usual distraction that helps with sleep issues I could not find relief. I put on my earbuds and listened to music for much of the night.
Today the lack of good sleep meant I was tired. This morning I did , mostly on autopilot, my Monday morning routine. After lunch however I could no longer stay awake and napped most of the afternoon. I am trying to skirt around chest wall pain because I don't feel like walking into the bedroom for the pain med.
I would appreciate it if the truck that ran over me took another route!

Watching from the window

I would to be involved when my husband is doing wood. After all it keeps me cosy during the winter. If I don't go outside I don't even know how cold it really is. 

He says that I can't help. So my job has been to provide a good lunch. Yesterday I made Cheesy broccoli chicken. It was delicious. Today I want to make a pork stir fry. I found an easy recipe and am waiting for the pork to thaw. 

Although I am somewhat sluggish today I feel pretty good. 

Happy! Happy!

My beloved husband is on vacation until Dec.28th. "It's so nice to have a man around the house."  It is wonderful to have him home.  He hangs in there with me when I need him and encourages me as I walk this unfamiliar road.
Last night I slept fairly well. I am trying to be more proactive around the meds I need to take. It seems to help.  I was uncertain when I went to bed if my body was going to co-operate but after a bit everything settled down and I fell asleep.
This morning I am having a slow start.  I guess it will be a day to make a list so I can figure out the priorities and go from there.

Payback

After two days of sheer exhaustion and a travel day which was exhausting, my body started to act out. Pain that had been dormant for several weeks decided to rear its ugly head. I should not have been surprised. Rest is a big help when this happens. Somehow I often can't wrap my mind around the fact that it is okay to relax and rest.  I was at the point last night when everything hurt and I felt like a baby who was so overtired she couldn't let go and sleep.  I am grateful for meds that actually work and grateful even more when I get my mind to agree that its all right to take them!
This morning I feel like I got a decent night's sleep and should function better today.
Acceptance of my body's limitations is very difficult.

One Happy Gal

The 4 wheel drive is fixed on my much loved Jeep. I am so thankful. We are expecting a big storm tonight through tomorrow and it will make it safer for my husband's morning drive to work.
I took my good friend with me and she did half of the driving. I'm glad she did because by the time we got there my fingers and the base of my thumbs were hurting pretty bad. I had reviewed my med schedule which I don't always follow and discovered that I was supposed to be taking Advil daily.  I haven't taken any in the last month. When I got home I took some and the pain in my hands went away. Guess I should look at that med list more often.

Exhaustion

So, my beady little brain finds denial quite easy to do! I spent a wonderful week-end with family, ate out, stayed up late, walked a lot, shopped and I was sure it was 'nothing'. However today the the denial of anything chronic going on went out the window. Fatigue set in and there was lots of resting and sleeping. Even tonight my body is telling me it could use another day of rest.
I am glad I planned an easy supper and can get in bed early tonight. By Wednesday I hope to have caught up and can function once again!

Home Again

Exhausted but happy. The overnight away was the first we've had in a long time and we were glad we did it. The ride over (two hours) was filled with conversation that we needed to have. The shopping was fun as we "did" our list together in the big city. Eating out together, resting in the motel and heading off to the Collins Center where the dance recital was being held filled our day. Then, there was meeting the new boyfriend of our youngest daughter. What a terrific gentleman he is. Our granddaughter did her three dancing pieces quite well and seemed to enjoy wearing the sparkly costume. Her mother showed a lot of energy in the two pieces she was in. I don't know where she found all that energy.
Today we slept in and had a bit of breakfast at the Inn before finishing out our big city shopping and then headed to a local truckers restaurant for a terrific brunch/lunch with the family. Kisses and hugs all around and we all headed, in different directions, home.
My fingers hurt, my knees and legs are tired but my smile is big.
I am so thankful we decided to do this.

A Family Week-end

We are going to be away overnight this week-end. Two of our lovely daughters have made it possible for us to visit them, see one daughter and her daughter's dance recital, stay in a nice Country Inn and have brunch together the next day. I am excited. It's been a long since we've done anything like this.

I am feeling pretty good and there are rest times built into the visit so it should work out.  

Ice and Rain

It's a day to stay home for sure! I have on some Christmas music and am slowly working my way through cleaning. I am pacing myself so I don't get too tired.  I seem to have recovered from the drug withdrawal and am back to normal. I would like to see the temps rise about ten degrees so the ice would melt. Our dooryard is so dangerous at this point. 

Yikes! Drug Withdrawal Event!

I am on a drug for my fibromyalgia that has lots of side effects. I have been fortunate to benefit from it with no noticeable side effects. I have a tendency to react to drugs differently than most so I wasn't surprised.  However there is a caution about stopping this drug without help from the doctor. I paid it no heed when I ran out because I knew my husband would bring it home the next time he was in town and near the pharmacy. (In about four days)  However...

I saved one and took it Saturday after skipping Friday's dose.  Saturday was a great day. I thought I felt all right Sunday just a bit tired and somewhat irritable. Monday I got up and found myself busy and feeling good. I got a small wash done, made the bed, ate my breakfast and then started to feel nauseous.  Hmm? I decided first to try Tums.  Lots of burping and nausea but no relief.  I lay done on the bed and watched an episode for distraction but still quite nauseous.  I then looked up symptoms of drug withdrawal and found out that nausea was one of them. The recommendation was for ginger ale.
I had some and felt a little better.  I convinced myself I could wait until 4PM for my husband to get home with the med I needed.  By 1PM I was sick enough and had the dry heaves, that I called him at work and asked him to come home right after work stopping only for the med. He said that he wouldn't wait but would come now. He was still an hour and 15 minutes away.  By 2PM I was sicker than I ever remember with dry heaves and stomach ache.  The pain was intense and I couldn't stop crying. The last dry heave caused my head to explode so I was dealing with that as well.

When husband came through the door at 2:20PM he was shaken by how I was acting and feeling.  He quickly got my med out and gave me water.  I worked at calming myself while he rubbed my neck.  By suppertime I was able to eat some saltines and take my pain med.  Later I had some pudding which stayed down and watched an episode with him in bed.

I slept well and this morning feel like my 'regular' self.
So here's my advice. Read the literature on any med you are taking. Use caution.  Don't wait to get help.  

Very Sick Today

Nauseous and throwing up. This is from going without a certain med for three days. Ugh! 

Snow Again

Yes, I know, it snows in Maine. I have lived here close to half a life time.  But snow is for winter and it isn't yet the 22nd of December!  This snowing started on again, off again back in early November. I really mustn't get tired of it too soon as there is a long winter ahead.
I love the snow when it is dry and crisp.  My body does not ache so much and I feel so much better.
This icy wet stuff does the opposite.

I ran short of one of my meds at the end of this week and forgot to call it in on a day my husband was working in town.  I wasn't sure it was working but being without it,

put me in a bad place. I guess it was really working.  I am thankful for God's grace in doing with the absence of it.

Today my wonderful husband is home and I am all smiles and not alone and very warm.  He tends the stove for me! Even though the sky is a dreary gray this home is filled with light and love and cooking smells and rack filled clean clothes to add moisture to the air.  This man, my love, companion of more than 40 years is the joy of my life.

Out and About

Today was the third day I felt reasonably well and I had my car back. My husband had been using mine while his was out of commission. I had a list of things that needed to be done away from the house and so I went off and got everything done.  I went to the next town where there's a small grocery store and the bank. Grocery shopping (short list), car registration,  bills that needed paying all got done. I was very tired when I got home but extremely happy.  The days when I could hop in the car and be gone all day doing errands are long gone. I love living where I do but everything is a ride. 

Recovery

Yes. It happens. You do get better from illness. I know because today I am feeling so much better. The antibiotic seems to have knocked the bronchitis on its head!
However, those other issues, you know, the ones that show up randomly. They came to visit last night and today. I have very little range of motion in my left arm and pain in the shoulder joint.  I didn't sleep well because every time I moved the joint hurt. 
I'm glad to have the bronchitis behind me and to be able to do what needs to be done around the house. 

Beautiful Sunshiny Day

I woke this morning feeling a bit better.  Yes! The sun was shining and the snow that remained sparkled with diamonds. The house was cozy and warm with the wonderful wood heat from the stove.
Outside it is 15 degrees, a good day to stay indoors.

 I have a short list and am trying to contain my "that needs doing" list and stay peaceful and continue to recuperate.  I had two chest wall flare-ups yesterday but the Flexeril contained the pain to a short duration. I am thankful.